Watching as a guy as the mess that is #difemina unfolds is the most surreal experience. It’s like, I’m almost glad nobody’s created a tag for me and gay guys yet.
super glad you’re enjoying our community infighting from afar, get out of the tag now bye thx
'i'm almost glad nobody's created a tag for me and gay guys yet' lmao bc a bunch of dudes were whining about us not including them 2 seconds after the tag started up
Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, regarding Tumblr (Katie Couric asked her about “Notorious RBG” and she said not only did she know about it, but she’s into it)
RBG KNOWS WHAT’S UP.
No one tell her about bronies.
oh my god ruth bader ginsburg might have seen and liked my gifs of her this is the best day of my life
fighting the impulse to like literally every post in difemina that’s NOT infighting even if i don’t actually like the posts
atlantisrises said: Your entire blog is starting to confuse me. You do realize that systems of oppression are intersectional, that a person can gave privilege in some areas and be disadvantage in others, yes? The idea is that bi people face anxieties and erasure that homosexual people dont. Meanwhile, homosexual people face some problems that a lot of bi people dont. Issues of race, class and gender ID all compound and complicate those issues. You ARE bi. I'd like to ask if it never bothered you that (tbc)
that people who shareyour sexual ID barely exist &are constantly discredited in fiction. Have you never felt the anxiety of wondering if your whole identity is a sham/phase/delusion? Have you never felt uncomfortable and “not gay enough” in gay groups & “not straight enough” in straight ones? Have you never been asked “are you sure” or “how many women vs men have you been with” when coming out? If you havnt, lucky you. if you have you understand how IN SOME WAYS bi identity is uniquely erased
of course i understand that systems of oppression are intersectional. but here’s the thing: not everything that’s shitty in this world is its own special system of oppression. you say yourself that bi people face some problems gay people (please don’t say homosexual; many gay people feel it has strong negative connotations) don’t and gay people face some problems bi people don’t. this is very true! but these can’t both be privilege/oppression dynamics because that would mean bi women and lesbians oppress each other, at the same time, on the same axis. mutual oppression isn’t a thing. oppression involves a fundamental power imbalance. the only clear power imbalance her is between straight people and lgb+ people. the different and special shitty experiences of bi people and gay people are the result of that oppression dynamic—homophobia—operating on them in different ways (as well as interacting with misogyny and other oppressions to affect them differently). when lesbians and bi women treat each other badly, they are drawing from internalized homophobia and misogyny to hurt each other horizontally, and it’s awful for all of us, but neither of these groups has the institutional power to oppress the other on that basis.
i hope you can understand why holding this belief doesnot imply that i have not experienced, don’t understand, or don’t care about biphobia. it’s just that i believe that biphobia is an effect of larger systems of oppression and not a system of oppression in its own right.
idk i agree with most of this but what about the fact that bisexual people are often excluded and given little space (like trans people!!) in lgbt spaces where gay men and lesbians are accepted and given safe spaces? I just feel that there is a special but not worse oppression that bisexuals face different from that of gay people, at this time, and it is multifaceted and related to erasure, lack of visibility, and lack of acceptance in lgbt spaces. I feel that when you state that biphobia is not a system of oppression in it’s own right you are ignoring the experiences of many bi people that our oppression is fundamentally unique from homophobia, and operates as a different system of oppression from homophobia.
ok there’s a lot going on here but hopefully i can touch on all of it
i think i already made it clear that i think biphobia is special, just like the experiences gay people have that bi people don’t are special. but biphobia really can’t exist as its own full-fledged system of oppression without there being a “monosexual” privileged class because that’s not how systems of oppression work. i feel like you’re implicitly defining “homophobia” here as the oppression that only gay people experience and that’s just not accurate. bi people experience homophobia. sometimes we experience it in pretty much the same way as gay people (for example, homophobia aimed at gay relationships, when we’re in them) and sometimes we experience it in a different, unique way (biphobia). to be clear, it is still oppressive; it is just not a separate axis. gay people do not have institutional power to oppress us. they can and do harm us horizontally, and we do the same to them. none of this is downplaying the harm or uniqueness of biphobia. if you don’t understand that, you don’t understand what i’m saying.
i strongly advise against implying that lesbians are always accepted, given safe space, and never erased in lgbt spaces. i have heard from so, so many lesbians who did not feel at all safe in their local lgbt/queer space, especially spaces at universities, because there was an overwhelming atmosphere of lesbophobia, including from bpq people. they have been told they’re limiting themselves by only being attracted to women, that really everyone’s bi deep down, that they’re shallow because they fall in love with “parts” rather than “hearts,” etc. etc. even in these spaces, and when lesbians are pushed out of these safe spaces it’s just as big a deal as it is when bi women are. this is an important and unique experience to talk about as well, but it is also not a separate system of oppression; it’s homophobia and misogyny enacted against them horizontally. we lbpq women are ALL oppressed in complex and horrible ways, and all of these ways are worth talking about.
idk I think you are downplaying the negative effect that “horizontal harm” of erasure, exclusion, and that gay men and lesbians do to bisexuals in real life in the real life lgbt community on an extensive and entrenched scale by comparing it to the shitty lesbophobic stuff that ~radical queers~ say on tumblr as if both sides are doing equal damage to each other when frankly the statistics and plenty of bi people’s lived experiences say otherwise.
really, you’re going to reduce it to just “jerks on tumblr” when literally the example i used was lesbians being pushed out of actual spaces with actual resources they actually need in real life?
and i’ve seen a lot of statistics about bad experiences being correlated with bisexuality, which is very real, but i’ve never seen any that managed to establish that those things were a result of their bisexuality (they generally do not even control for INCREDIBLY SIGNIFICANT factors such as race, class, age, location, etc., this is like, really really basic) much less that they are the SPECIFIC fault of GAY people’s biphobia as opposed to straight people’s. acting like the statistics say this when they don’t is not good science or good activism.
lived experience is obviously crucially important but i don’t know if “my lived experience says that i’m worse off than this other group that’s oppressed horizontally to me” is exactly… the best use of it… and if it is, one could cite the lived experience of plenty of lesbians to argue to the contrary. but i won’t do that, because i don’t think that’s appropriate. i’ve seen more than enough harm done both ways to be beyond done with all of it, and i think it’s more than possible to talk about all of these experiences in precise and useful ways without shitting on either group.
i would block everyone who thinks it’s ok to keep calling other people “homosexual” after they’ve been told not to if i could honestly
Anonymous said: "please don’t say homosexual; many gay people feel it has strong negative connotations" well guess what multisexual peeps can call themselves gay too it's not a homosexual-only term
"we can’t call you the word you’ve chosen for yourselves because we’ve taken it for ourselves, so we HAVE to call you a word you’ve told us is offensive lol deal with it” fuck off tbh
there are some uses of the word gay that can apply to bi people in certain ways (e.g. “gay relationship”) but generally speaking identifying as gay means you’re, well, gay, and if you’re gonna pretend you don’t understand what gay means in that context you’re being deliberately obtuse
*rubs bridge of nose*
Lesbian. Pan. Bi. Queer. Long ago the four nations lived in harmony. Then everything changed when the monosexists attacked.
can you maybe not compare lesbians to the fucking fire nation in the solidarity tag
this is not funny, it’s rude as hell.