anyway i’ll stop calling them straight relationships and gay relationships when society stops treating them demonstrably, fundamentally, materially differently
also if you’re a woman dating a man (and people perceive you as a woman and a man) and you’re thinking of explaining how your relationship is totally not treated better than same-gender relationships by society because *mumblemumble*… consider not doing that
insinuating that only bpq people who are not in “opposite”-gender relationships are treated as “the good bpq people,” as if dating the gender mandated for you by society somehow makes you extra marginalized, is so divorced from reality and honestly offensive it’s hard to believe
Anonymous said: Something these "monosexual privilege" people don't realize is: If "number of genders you're attracted to" is a separate axis of oppression from "genders to which you are attracted to", then bi people (the ones who are attracted to the societally-designated "opposite gender", anyway) wield "opposite"-gender-attraction privilege over gay and lesbian "monosexuals". Funny how they will deny that until the cows come home but keep insisting on ~monosexual privilege~.
yeah, pretty much. once you start drawing new arbitrary lines to divide us, where do you stop? meanwhile straight people watch from their position of actual privilege and laugh
i am staunchly against the use of words like gaslighting having an expanded meaning to include “someone disagreeing with me” because the term gaslighting must maintain its meaning in order for us to listen to abuse victims and survivors.
expanding its meaning depoliticizes the term and removes language that should be afforded to those in need of it.
Anonymous said: why do you use "bpq" and what does it stand for?
it just stands for bi/pan/queer, and i use it sometimes when i want to be clear that i’m not talking about only people who strictly identify as bi. i’m just not that big a fan of “multisexual” or “polysexual” (especially “polysexual” because i feel like it’s easily confused with “polyamorous,” particularly when it’s shortened to “poly”) so i use bpq instead.
(i’m not against “multisexual” or other umbrella terms in concept though and it’s fine to use them, i just personally don’t prefer them.)
how dare you call me white or say I have white privilege, that lumps me in with my oppressors straight white men
same thing with cisgender, able-bodied, and allosexual in fact just stop talking about your own oppression altogether if it means you’re going to use accurate words to describe me
Hey could we stop making these comparisons? First of all, white women do pull this when we getting called out on racism. We tell people of color that we should be focusing on men who are ‘the real oppressors,’ and that criticizing (white) women is divisive and a lot of other nonsense. So it seems kind of flippant when we do this “oh that’s as absurd as me objecting to white privilege because I’m a woman!” As if that never happens.
Second, it’s not even an accurate comparison. White men don’t oppress us on the axis of race. Straight people do oppress gay and lesbian people on the axis of sexuality. That’s what the complaint is. It’s that you’re creating a “privileged” category on the basis of sexuality that puts gay/lesbian people in with people who marginalize them on the basis of sexuality. You’re saying that having a gay sexuality privileges and marginalizes someone at the same time. The only way your analogy would work is if you were saying that we shouldn’t be lumped in with other white people because some white people oppress us on the axis of race. Which is of course ridiculous.
i also hate this because usually the people who say it are willing to concede that gay and lesbian people at least have less ”monosexual privilege” or less power over bpq people than straight people, and to analogize that to whiteness is to suggest that we white women have less white privilege than men and less power to oppress on the basis of race, which is very wrong.
but then is it any surprise that people who push these half-baked theories of new axes of oppression have a deeply flawed understanding of the actual axes on which they are privileged
when you send an important email that you’ve been stressing out about and get NO RESPONSE and you’re just like
"… …i mentally prepared for every possibility but this one"