I feel like one of the major failings of sex positive feminism is the insistence that women like watching porn just as much as men, when the idea of watching porn makes me incredibly uncomfortable. And that’s okay?
And yes, I’m including queer…
This conversation wasn’t about culture. It was about women who don’t like porn, or are otherwise not super sexual feeling uncomfortable with sex positivity.
I commented on how I’m working to change it to make it a better space for those people.
I have no idea where you get off making these assumptions about me or how my sex positivity works, but it’s uncalled for and unjustified.
I don’t really feel a personal need to prove to you what you just said about me is wrong, but if you feel like playing that game I’m more than qualified to explain my beliefs.
Is sex positivity a perfect movement? Of course not, no movement is. That’s the whole point. It’s all about developing and getting better and earning rights.
The rights the sex pos community tends to focus on is the destigmatization of sex, because that;s historically been oppressive for many groups.
Now, the movement has been stepping forward to includes aces, trans* issues, rape culture, sex and disability, and racial fetishes. I’ve seen some excellent sex positive essays talking about all those things. If that sex positivity is not what you’ve experienced, I’m very sorry, and that’s exactly why I work as hard as I do to improve the movement.
Well, you’re actually wrong about what the conversation was about.
Please don’t skirt around the issue why maybe women would be more uncomfortable with watching porn as if that has nothing to do with a broader culture of violence against women rather than us not being “super sexual” which is a rather gross assumption to make about why some women don’t like porn. And sort of shows the priorities of many sex positive feminists now that I think about it, don’t like porn? Well how about feminist porn? No? Well, you must be a virgin who can’t drive.
And quite frankly, if you’re depoliticizing your sex positivity in that manner maybe that’s a good reason for people like me to feel uncomfortable.
Now, the movement has been stepping forward to includes aces, trans* issues, rape culture, sex and disability, and racial fetishes.
Anyone get that extremely fat-shaming, triggering as fuck email from fitocracy right now?
It’s the story of Meeks:
It’s never too late.
Meeks struggled with fluctuating weight her entire life. In her mid-20s, she completely let herself go and by 2010 she found herself at 34% body fat, self-conscious, and socially withdrawn.
In the fall of 2011, Meeks decided to stop the cycle. She joined a gym, hired a trainer, and after a year of blood, sweat, and tears, she dropped 53 pounds and 17% body fat. One year was all it took to go from rock bottom to the best shape of her life.
“let herself go”
Because the fucking thought of a fat woman existing is a slap in the face to men everywhere. Because “deciding to stop the cycle” boils down to losing weight. Because “rock bottom” is 34% body fat on an otherwise healthy normal person.
And just for a second, look at these pictures:
This is Fitocracy’s definition of “letting yourself go” and “rock bottom.”
This is the kind of fat-shaming I get for signing up for a free service like fitocracy just to log in my regular exercise regimen. I could eat “rock bottom” meeks for breakfast. I am that fat. I could hide “rock bottom” meeks under my left titty.
And no I have not let myself go. I have overcome eating disorders, abuse, rape, physical violence, and poverty. I have a degree from an overpriced liberal arts college, a skinny white husband, and a mean back hand. I speak three languages and have studied with someone of the most influential writers of the past decade. I have not let myself go. At 200 lbs, I have perfected myself.
Fuck you fitocracy.
Fitocracy sent this email to all their users despite the fact that they undoubtedly have many users who are recovering from eating disorders. Fitocracy should be a site where they can be safe to focus on fitness and build healthy relationships with their bodies, NOT a site that will shame them by sending them pictures of this thin woman’s body and calling it “rock bottom.”
Tell Fitocracy what you think of this: email@example.com